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Foster Kid
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Originally, I signed up to run Tahoe Rim’s 50-miler as a training run for my 100-mile trail run set for August. However, since I have been coping with various illnesses and hip tendonitis, I decided to cancel my 100-miler in order to allow my body time to heal. My trip to Tahoe was already booked and paid for, so I decided to still run, but opted to switch to their 55k (which turned out to be 36 miles). The race began with a 4,200 ft climb to mile 9 and it was a great way to wake up my legs, lungs and lower back. The views of Lake Tahoe and Marlette Lake were incredibly scenic from up high; but wow, was it also hot. After the rest stop at mile 9, I went on to the next rest stop at mile 18 and then 23. At mile 23, I texted Steve and told him the trail was difficult. The course was itself very challenging (straight uphill for the first several miles). But it was also my first time running on a trail in two years. While I felt strong, it was still an adjustment. At mile 23, the volunteer warned us that the next rest stop would not be until mile 30, and that there would be no shade. I loaded up on water and off I went. Unfortunately, when I made it to mile 30 there was no rest stop! So, I had to continue forward: uphill, in the sand and heat while completely out of water. Around mile 30.5 I fell… hard! I was bleeding a lot but managed to stand back up. I told myself to keep going until I got to the next rest stop. Fortunately, mile 31 had the rest stop; unfortunately, they did not have much to offer. But I knew I only had 4-5 miles left to the finish and told myself I could do it. I had a gel and filled up my bottles with water. Every other bottle I would fill up with electrolytes and at every stop I ate potatoes with salt. After leaving the rest stop at mile 31, I headed out onto a single dirt track and about a half mile into the trail both my legs started to spasm. Again, I fell onto the dirt. While on the ground, my stomach muscles also began to spasm, and I became sick to my stomach. A fellow runner approached me as I was on the ground suffering from muscle spasms and told me I needed electrolytes; however, neither of us had any. Before she continued on, she called for a medic to assist me. I continued to lay on the ground, unable to stand or escape the heat of the intense sun. Another runner came by and again diagnosed my problem as lack of electrolytes. She shared a salt tab with me and told me I needed to get up and move because I was only going to get worse lying on the trail in the heat. I asked her to help me up and I would try to walk. I couldn’t believe it, the muscle spasms went away, and I was able to walk/slowly jog. However, I quickly ran out of the small water supply shared with me. A third runner came up to me and offered me his water. I told him no, however he insisted. I told him I would take half a cup, refusing to take his entire supply. I was able to continue forward, grateful to be up and moving when not long ago I had no control over my body or ability to stand. When I got to about mile 34, the medic finally found me. I was given and quickly drank two containers of coconut water (a natural electrolyte) and filled up my water bottle. I was strong enough to continue towards the finish line, and the volunteers stayed with me until I completed the race. Once across the finish, I drank two more cartons of coconut water and then went to the medical tent to get the blood and sand off me from the hard fall I took at mile 30. Every experience is an opportunity to learn, and I learned so much from this one. One takeaway from this race–a glimpse of heaven, a taste of hell-is that I should have packed salt tabs. The heat, 9,000 feet elevation, winds, AND my hot flashes threw off my body’s ability to regulate sodium and electrolytes. While the rest stops all had sodium tabs, I did not take them and moving forward I will be mindful about keeping tabs on me. My second takeaway is an appreciation for how amazing our bodies truly are. I cannot believe after lying on the ground with my body spasming, that I would be able to get up and finish. I believe in listening to your body, so when I tried to get up I wanted to see IF my body could continue. If I would have struggled badly, I wouldn’t have pushed it. But I was open to seeing what my body could do, and wow, am I still in shock at how quickly my body recovered! My next takeaway is that people are good, kind and generous. Each runner who passed me stopped to check in and helped me in some way. We get through challenges with help from others and people are willing to help us in the ways they can! My final takeaway is how amazing it felt to be back on the trails and has me itching to register for another! “Run when you can, walk when you have to, and crawl if you must, just never give up!” -Dean Karnazes Until Next Monday... 
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Dear Gail, You were more than a neighbor to me; you were a second mother. I survived up until the age of nine because of you. You welcomed me into your home and family with open arms. You and your family planted a seed in me for what a family could be and what love was. I carried this with me throughout my life and emulated your example with my own husband and children many years later. We met by chance, and in my heart, I know that was God's plan. I was blessed each day after our meeting. We lost touch (though you never left my heart or soul) for twenty years because I was worried that connecting with you would make my biological mother upset. This is a fear I got over when I was twenty-eight years old, and I finally knocked on your door. Instantly, I was home and felt nothing but pure comfort and joy. My happy memories during that time of my life were with you. My favorite memories were days we played outside making mud pies or were in your salon playing hairstylist and eating your mom’s lemon meringue pie. Holidays were always better spending them with your family and sharing in your holiday traditions. You included me like I was one of your own children. You brought so much light to my life during a time where so much around me was dim and crumbling. You have done more for me than you could ever know, and I am deeply grateful. You stuck up for me and protected me. You spent hours with my teachers at school to ensure I got an education. When I had tears, you’d comfort me and wiped them away. I loved hanging out in the salon and always felt welcomed by every member of the Mondoux family. I learned so much from you. Because of you, I know what it looks like to truly BE there for someone. You taught me how to treat others and how to love unconditionally. You taught me how to be a part of a healthy family and were a role model and second mother wrapped into one. You accepted me, put up with me, and above all loved me. With your help, I learned how to love myself and how to love my own parents. From your strength, I too learned how to be strong. There are no adequate words to express what you meant to me then and still mean to me now. Thank you doesn’t suffice, but I hope you know from the bottom of my heart how grateful I am to you. Thank you for being you. Without you, I would not be the person I am today. You inspire me in so many ways and to continue to change and become better. If I end up half the woman and mother that you are, I would be so lucky. Those small acts of kindness made such a monumental impact on me. May anyone reading this realize the impact their genuine kindness and love can have on a person’s life. You planted a tiny seed for what my life could be and because of you I had that beacon to carry me forward even in dark times. You didn’t need to make all my problems disappear to make my life better. But your small, loving actions, like buying me a Halloween costume or making space for me in your home, did make my life better. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, but people will never forget how you made them feel” (Maya Angelou) and Gail, I could never forget you. Love your second daughter, Pollyann Until Next Monday…  Many violent stories–-cases of physical or sexual abuse, cancer, or a bullet-–involve a child whose life has been disrupted. My life was full of many disruptions. I experienced physical abuse nightly, witnessed domestic violence between my parents, and frequent middle-of-the-night police visits. As a child, I was filled with fear and anxiety; I was heartbroken and often unable to sleep at night. These regular occurrences led to me become that kid in school who would fall asleep in class or have little appetite to eat. Unfortunately, I was rarely met with empathetic educators. In fact, it wasn’t until third grade where that changed. As a whole, I would define my elementary school years as traumatic and unforgettable. I can still recall how my first-grade teacher would use a metal fork to force feed me because she didn’t approve of me ‘wasting’ my FREE lunch. She would stab me in the roof of my mouth, causing it to bleed. My second-grade teacher would yell at me and send me out into the hall for the day with only my desk as punishment for nodding to sleep during lessons. At recess she would demand that I stand on the wall to watch my peers play. Not once did she ever ask WHY I was falling asleep. It may not be surprising that I received failing grades in all subjects. Others in the school treated me with more unkindness. My bus driver would become furious with me when I would miss my stop for falling asleep. It wasn’t until I was in the third grade that I had a teacher attempt to help me and who seemed curious about my behavior (instead of someone who just wrote it off and tried to punish me). My third-grade teacher was accepting and caring; she went out of her way to ensure I was learning. She would help me celebrate accomplishing a goal by awarding me a certificate. With the help of this teacher and my neighbor (who I will discuss in greater detail in my next post) I was removed from my abusive home and placed into foster care. There are so many children in this world silently suffering, and if you pay attention, you can see the signs. Those signs may manifest as ‘bad behavior.’ But by putting aside anger and judgment, you could make a difference in that child’s life. I encourage you to listen, be supportive and understanding, approachable, accepting, caring and take the time to get to know that child. BE THE PERSON YOU NEEDED WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD. I remember those who hurt me, but I carry those who helped me in my heart and seek to imitate them in my actions. "One hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... but the world may be a better place because I made a difference in the life of a child." -Forest E. Witcraft Until Next Monday...  Dear Pollyann, I just want to let you know that I am immensely proud of you for the things you’ve done, the things you haven’t done, and the things you’re yet to do. You are an extraordinary woman, in your love for others, the sound of your laughter, and in the way you love your heavenly father, husband, children and friends. It is in the strength of your walk and in showing up (even when you don’t feel like it). You know how to get up, show up and not give up (even you when you’d rather curl up in a ball and cry). That is who you are. Always remember when those negative thoughts creep in (like how unworthy, undeserving, imperfect you are) that you are loved by God. Nothing will ever change that, even when you mess up. He’s the one holding onto you, even when you are tired of this messy life. Rest and show yourself Grace. Up until the age of 23, your life was extremely difficult and painful. You wanted to give up on life and end it; however, with God, hard work, and determination you prevailed! I wish my younger self could see the woman you are now. The best version of you is on her way, not behind you. I wish she could see the children you have raised and the spouse that is madly in love with her husband. You worry about becoming the person who has not reached her full potential during her lifetime, but that is worry that you need to let go of. Look at you, you have prevailed and continue to rise. I know you’re worried about the future, but the best way to honor the gift of life is not looking forward or behind, but rather being in the moment and soaking it all in. Every season of your life, you are bearing fruit. Your roots are digging deeper in life, making you unshakeable even when a new storm tries to take you out. I know this isn’t the life you imagined you would have. In Fact, it is more than you could have ever imagined. God has blessed you in ways you never thought were imaginable. It doesn’t matter if your purpose doesn’t look like anyone else's--it is yours! No matter how imperfect your life is, it is yours to live. Remember this is the only life you will get, so live authentically. Forgive yourself when you make mistakes and forgive others when they fail. We are all human. Your past should always be a place to take lessons and memories from, not one to return to by reminding yourself of pain or regrets. Finally, every day you’re one step closer to becoming the woman God intended you to be. Stay rooted and unshaken. Live an Authentic life with Integrity, Honor and Accountability. Stay Present, stay Engaged! Life is the Ultra Endurance Event! The best is yet to come! Happy Birthday, and I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for us. Love, Pollyann  |
AuthorPollyann Keller Archives
October 2024
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