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Foster Kid
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Grandma Connelly. At the very mention of her name, tears well in my eyes. The unconditional love she supplied didn’t come from coddling, but rather from how she showed up. Retired and living on a fixed income, she had very little (materialistically) to give. Yet truly, she gave me SO much. While grandma Connelly was unable to remove me and my siblings from a home with drugs and alcohol, she took care of us however she could. From the time that I left the foster care system until I left home at seventeen: she was my safe haven. She would come over in the morning and sweep up the sea of beer bottles that covered the floor from the night before, ensure we had laundered clothes, and even taught me math by playing backgammon and cribbage after school. My taste buds still dance at the memory of the waffles she’d make for us with bits of bacon cooked inside. What might be more impactful than the acts of service she so lovingly gave, was her positive mindset. Never did I see my grandma complain, nor was she ever in a bad mood. Even though my grandma dealt with poverty and negativity every day (many of her children and grandchildren were addicted to substances), she was a model of strength and perseverance. When I called on her–day or night–she was there to listen and lift my spirits. The purest form of love I have felt in my life was the unconditional love given to me by my grandma Connelly. Abuse and trauma were prevalent in my childhood, and my grandma could not change that. Though, the support that she could provide, positively influenced me then and continues to shape the person I am to this day. As a social worker, my caseload is filled with struggling families. I am in a similar position as my grandma Connelly: I cannot take a magic wand and make it all better for those families. Instead, I am realistic–and optimistic. I support them to the best of my ability, communicate from a loving place, and show up. Of course, there are days that the weight of my role feels heavy and defeating; but all I need to do is remember my grandma. Power (and impact) come from focusing on what I can control (and letting go of what I can’t). This is what I strive to do–not only professionally–but with my family, friends, and those I meet during my races. Because of my grandma Connelly, I know the power of showing up. Money and material items don’t bring joy. In fact, it’s the smallest things that do (the bacon in those waffles). I’d rather help someone struggling to finish a marathon cross that line by coaching them in than finishing with a record time. Supporting someone on their journey brings more joy to my life than an arbitrary personal best. In the spirit of my grandma Connelly and to use the words of author Elizabeth Lesser “look for a way to lift someone up. If that's all you do, that’s enough." My grandma couldn’t make it all better, but she showed up and did her best to make a difference. I do not know if I would have survived and made it this far without her. I live each day to make her proud. What she offered was enough, in fact, it was more than enough. Remember, there is no act too small. We often don’t realize the gravity of our impact on others. You don’t need wealth, an abundance of time, or resources: just show up. I continue to find ways to show up and help others along their journey. Because I need trauma informed practical hours to work towards my coaching certification, I am currently seeking clients at a discounted rate, if you are interested email me at [email protected] UNTIL NEXT MONDAY... 
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Early one morning I woke Steve because I had just determined what my (ok, actually our) next pursuit would be: running a full marathon in each of the 50 states. An article in the newspaper detailed how a man with MS had completed this challenge and I knew we could too. Steve agreed under one condition: we would enjoy the journey. And boy, did we! This goal required us to save and plan mindfully. We are not rich, but we weren’t going to let money become a roadblock either. We made a conscious choice to invest in memories over our savings account. When the kids were younger, we would build a family vacation around a race and state. As they got older, we would occasionally need to miss a last-minute tournament. But if there is a will, there is a way (even if that means we had to make certain sacrifices). The memories we made are priceless. Each race was special in its own way, and we were always sure to enjoy the food and state afterwards. This challenge enabled us to visit places we would have never chosen to experience otherwise. We had so much fun in the most unexpected places. We also connected with so many interesting people and made great friends on our journey around the country too! But I am most grateful for how this challenge brought Steve and I closer. We became empty nesters in the midst of this goal, and I believe our transition was smoother because of it. We spent SO much time together: traveling, training, running, and vacationing. We can reminisce on some pretty amazing moments, because we shared them. Some of Our Favorite Run Memories from our 50 States are: Favorite: Big Sur Hardest: Old Farts Best Post Race Meal: Aspen or Green Bay Hardest To Train For: Boston Best Post-Race Party: Outer Banks or Savannah Most Spiritual: Antelope Canyon 50 Miler Best Finish Line: IRONMAN Chattanooga (hearing those words… “Pollyann you are an IRONMAN”) I’ve been asked if I would like to expand my goal to other countries, but that goal doesn’t resonate. Instead, we will try to run the 50 states again. I would love the chance to get to know each place (and race) a little better, while in the company of my most favorite travel companion, running buddy, and best friend: my husband Steve. I have so many lessons and stories from those fifty races and will share more with you in future posts. But for now, I hope you are inspired to Invest in memories, set goals, and enjoy the journey! Until Next Monday…  On Valentine’s Day we often celebrate romantic love; but I want to use this post to celebrate the love between two (unlikely) friends instead. One early morning at the gym in 2018, I found myself walking on the Stairmaster. A young-twenty-something girl went to get on a Stairmaster that I knew was broken. I took off my headphones to let her know she needed to use a different machine. She then hopped on the only one available, which happened to be next to me. Instantly we were engaged in a deep conversation and by the end of our cardio session, she had invited me to join a women’s monthly mastermind group she was co-leading with a life coach in the area. Several years have passed, and Kelly and I have become close friends, talking several times each week. In fact, there was a time in 2019 that Kelly and I discussed writing a book together (she would help me ghost write my story). So, it was a no-brainer for us to team up together in the creation of this blog. While the experiences and content are my own, Kelly is the one who writes the blog and maintains my website. We are certainly an unexpected pair. I met Kelly when she was in her mid-twenties. At the time, she didn’t have children and she was preparing for her first bodybuilding show. I was in my mid-forties, had three nearly-grown children, and was a distance athlete. Our upbringings, politics, and religion are wholly dissimilar as well. What’s relevant about sharing these differences? To underscore the importance that meaningful relationships can sometimes form between people who are nothing alike. I say ‘nothing alike’ but truly I mean that from our perceived descriptions. In fact, we are similar to one another in deeply meaningful ways. We are both optimistic, growth-oriented, straight-forward, and hardworking. Our text chains are filled with motivational quotes, wins, struggles, and podcast/article recommendations. We hold each other accountable to our goals and dreams and seek to cheer and challenge one another to move forward. Often, we laugh about how unlikely of a duo we are, but marvel at how deeply connected we feel. Now in 2022, I find myself an empty nester and Kelly has a new baby. I am still in Fort Worth, but Kelly moved near Austin. I am training for a 100-mile ultra and Kelly is gearing up to run a 10K with her 9-month-old daughter and will be moving into her first bodybuilding prep postpartum. Our lives may look different from 2018 to 2022, but our support and love for one another has not waivered (only strengthened). When Kelly and I were discussing what this post could be, I underscored the importance of opening yourself up to different types of friends. Kelly agreed and mentioned a quote in one of her favorite books that she reads to her daughter, Genevieve. The book is Dear Girl by Amy Krouse Rosenthal and contains myriad messages the author wants her sweet girl to know. One page reads “Dear girl, find people like you. Find people who are not like you.” This message rings with a message our society as a whole needs right now: the value in connecting with those who are and are not similar to ourselves. Because of me, Kelly ran two half marathons and has continued to set running goals. Because of Kelly, I have this blog. We can accomplish so much more (and sometimes things we would never have imagined possible) when we open ourselves to people (and by extension opportunities). So, if you find yourself with many friends who look like you, I challenge you to be open to that unlikely friend. "True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side.” Our friendship is rooted in shared values yet manifests in our lives differently. We are better people because of our friendship, and I cannot wait to continue on our unique journeys right alongside each other. Until Next Monday...  Last week I did something completely out of my comfort zone: I went on a podcast. While this is a goal I had marked for later this year, the opportunity arose sooner rather than later. I hesitated momentarily, but quickly let go of any excuse, and accepted. I am so proud of myself for getting uncomfortable and doing something new before I felt 'ready' (because we are never really going to feel that way anyway...)! Like any experience–especially a ‘first-time’ experience–I learned. For one, I will be mindful to express that these are MY experiences. In my interview I used the word ‘our’ when referring to my childhood. I do not wish to speak for my siblings; therefore, I will be more conscientious of using the pronoun “I” moving forward. I also gave a diagnosis for my mother’s mental illness. While I do believe she exhibits traits consistent with the diagnosis, it is not my place to state that as fact. I will also remind myself that my journey is complex, and I cannot share all of it in one 45-minute interview (this is why I am keeping a weekly blog so I can continue to unpack the many layers of my experiences). Moreover, I will ask clarifying questions ahead of time to see which elements of my life are most relevant to the given audience (to help me determine how and what I share). Lastly, although I mentioned that I do not time myself, I want to reiterate that I challenge myself. I enjoy pushing my limits and seeing what my body can do. Though 'sacrificing' time in order to help others get across the finish line or finishing with my husband brings me the most joy. I am always striving to better myself, but first and foremost I choose joy. Each Overcome Podcast is filled with motivation. Yuri interviews different athletes who have overcome in their own unique way. I am so grateful that he gave me a platform to share my story with others. I highly recommend subscribing to his podcast if you are looking to feel inspired to keep moving forward. A huge thank you to Yuri, and I can’t wait to hear what you all think! Link to Listen on Spotify (on YouTube and Apple Podcast as well) https://open.spotify.com/episode/19PSay97Hqyuh0lAH66Dz6?si=689f3ad8c4064452 Remember: "Comfort is your biggest trap and coming out of comfort zone is your biggest challenge." This quote by Manoj Arora rings true and I would just add that it may feel uncomfortable initially but feels amazing after you do! Until Next Monday...
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