Happy Half Century to me! I had many moments in those years where I questioned if I would make it to celebrate such a milestone. At age seven, I was living in an abusive home and didn’t know how I would make it another minute. When I was nine, I lived in an abusive foster home and did not want to live another minute. At age twelve, I was living in a crack house with my father and other addicts. During these early years, I was able to hold on because of my grandmother and to protect my precious younger siblings.
As a teenager, I was suicidal. At sixteen I attempted to take my life, but I know in my heart God had other plans for me and intervened. By 22, I was twice divorced. One divorce was abusive and actually ended in a court martial. To say it plainly, my life was not a walk in the park. I share all of the above because I NEVER thought I would make it here, to age 50. But not only did I make it, I am thriving spiritually, emotionally, and physically! I recently celebrated 26 years of marriage to the most wonderful man. Even when we struggled, he brought love and joy to my life. Steve and I raised three incredible children, and two precious granddaughters. My heart is full. I feel as though 2023 has been a year-long celebration. A marathon in Germany to celebrate my marriage; a full-Ironman in Austria to celebrate me; and a week in Oregon to celebrate my family. In the next few weeks, I will be doing a 500-mile bike ride across Iowa, and in August I will be participating in my 10th Full Ironman. I am strong, fearless, and ready to embrace the next chapter of my life. I want to leave you with 50 lessons (one for each year around the sun) that I have contemplated over this past year. May mine inspire you or motivate you to consider your own. 1. The impossible becomes possible as soon as we totally surrender. 2. You must attempt to do the thing you think you cannot do. 3. Comfort is a waste of potential. 4. If you master the mind, you can master anything. 5. The opposite of growing is dying. 6. Sometimes our fears (and even our love) can blind us. 7. Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence & face your future without fear. 8. In the game of life death always wins. I choose how I play. 9. Learn how to recover from falling by failing. 10. Love yourself unconditionally and be yourself fearlessly. 11. If and when I notice negative thoughts creeping in, allow them to pass through with acceptance and without judgment. 12. You can run any distance, including the distance you once believed was impossible. 13. Your mind has to tell your body who is in charge. 14. Life is like a roller coaster, it has ups and downs. But it is your choice to scream or enjoy the ride. 15. Move well, move strong, move more, move fast. 16. Live Free or Die. 17. Reflect, Release, Reset. 18. It doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you don’t stop. 19. I am not what happened to me. I am who I have chosen to become. 20. The more I let go, the more I have. 21. When the mountain seems too steep, think about what the view will look like on the peak. 22. Your body hears what you're thinking. 23. Live a quiet life in a world of noise. 24. Accept the hard as a pathway to peace. 25. Don’t miss the goodness of the day. 26. Keep Going! 27. Surf the waves of life. 28. If you have no joy, what is the purpose of living a long life? 29. Every storm runs out of rain. 30. Don’t move forward with fear… move forward with curiosity. 31. Never allow your past to create roadblocks to your future. 32. Healed or walking wounded? Your choice…. 33. Opposite of growing is dying. 34. Stay in the game. 35. Do the next best thing. 36. Turn your wounds into a gift for society. 37. Suffering does not destroy faith, it refines it. 38. Immerse yourself in prayer. 39. Words have Power. 40. Life is a summary of your choices. 41. Be with someone who motives you to do better in life. 42. You are Worthy! 43. Feelings are not facts. 44. I survived trauma, I can survive recovery. 45. Be bold! 46. If trauma can be passed down through generations, then so can healing. 47. I have survived too many storms to be bothered by the raindrops. 48. You won't have inner peace until you give up the war against the world. 49. Just because your past is painful does not mean your future will not be miraculous . 50. This world is not my home; I am just passing through... Now that the “big” day has passed. I am excited to embrace the prospects of growth that await me in the year (and half century) to come.
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The morning of July 3rd Jake, Sierra, Steve and I flew to Portland and met our oldest daughter, Liz. We then went to have a delicious breakfast (cornmeal pancakes with blueberries) and did some sight-seeing.
We checked into the hotel and met Aaron (Sierra’s boyfriend) and later met my uncle and cousin for dinner (still full from breakfast, I optioned for chicken salad). It was a great day! We called it an early night knowing we had to get up at 4am for a 6am marathon start. At 11pm the fire alarm started chirping. We called the lobby and they sent someone with a battery replacement. One hour later the chirping starts again. We ultimately moved rooms around 1 am and our long night included a short amount of sleep. By 5 am we were off to Sauvie Island for The Foot Traffic Flat Marathon. Jake, Sierra, and my Uncle Rolf ran the 5k. Aaron, my uncle John, and cousin Kelsey ran the half marathon, and I ran the full marathon. I was unsure how the marathon was going to go because I had just finished a full Ironman two weeks prior and unsure how (or even if) my body had completely healed. I also knew it was going to be a high of 97 degrees that day. Once the marathon started, I made it my goal to get as far as I could before the heat picked up. The views were beautiful: the river on one side and farmland on the other. I had a 1:49 half marathon. I was feeling strong, but my quads were getting tight. I was drinking a lot of water anticipating the coming heat. While hydrating would aid in protection from overheating, I needed to stop at rest stations frequently. At mile 20 my quads had completely cramped, so I started to do a 10-minute run and 1 min walk to give them rest. I finished Strong with a 3:58:10 finish and 2nd in my age group. What an amazing way to start my 50th year around the sun. Feeling strong, healthy and with a 3:58 marathon finish time. Let the Birthday celebration begin! We all met for lunch after the marathon at a floating dock restaurant with amazing views to kick off my celebration. We laughed and shared stories from the good ole days. The kids, Steve and I then went to Liz’s where she hosted an amazing 50th birthday bash with the grandkids. I can’t imagine a better way to celebrate! Steve and I spent the rest of the week in Salem and on the Oregon coast with our children and grandchildren. The week was filled with a lot of fun, laughter, hiking, time at ocean shores and of course yummy food. I cannot think of a better way to celebrate half-a-century on this earth: a challenge, good food, and most importantly incredible company. Being a Sherpa is an enormous responsibility and when your athlete is your wife, there is no room for error. Your athlete needs your logistical support and more importantly, your emotional support. The role as a sherpa is filled with plenty of excitement as well as monotonous down time, but the rewarding feeling you get when your athlete crosses the finish line, makes every minute worth it.
With this trip being overseas, there was the unique stressor of having to transport the athletes’ bike via commercial air. What could go wrong? No bike, no Ironman. Throughout all three plane connections, it was my responsibility to comfort my athlete and assure her everything would be okay, even though I knew the baggage handlers didn’t share my concern. In the end, the bike made it safely and all was good, or so I thought… Once we arrived in Klagenfurt, we settled in our room, but that’s when I noticed my athlete was beginning to show dreadful signs of hanger. This means nothing will be enjoyable until her hunger is satisfied. Her eyes go from blue to red and small little horns begin to sprout from each side of her temples. We found a hole-in-the-wall Doner place, and we dined like starving animals. We left and suddenly my athlete was appreciating everything about the town of Klagenfurt. We spent the next day touring and had an amazing time in this beautiful town. Then it was the highly anticipated and eventful day we had been waiting for, race day. We got to the start, and I know my athlete struggles with the open water swim so, I kissed her and watched her leave for the water. I was following her progress on the Ironman app tracker. After 45 minutes of tracking, she appeared to be progressing well, so I took the opportunity to grab some breakfast back at the hotel. As I was eating my breakfast, I noticed the tracker froze at the finishing point of the swim 40 minutes sooner than she has ever finished in past. In that moment, I knew something was off and I needed to ditch my breakfast to run 1.5 miles back to the race to check on my athlete. As I ran back and arrived at the race, my athlete was still in the same location on the app tracker, but nowhere in sight. As a reminder, this race is in a foreign country and nearly nobody spoke English. As I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off, panic begins to rise as worse case scenarios begin to run through my head. I continued the search for my missing wife. Next thing I knew, I saw an ambulance coming from the swim out and had no doubt it was carrying my wife. This was hands down one of the most helpless moments of my life. Tears welling, I thought my wife drowned. Watching the riders come on to the course and fearing the worst, I hear “STEVEN I’M COLD!” as my athlete rode past me on her bike. WTH! It was the best sound I have ever heard! Turns out, there was just a glitch in the tracking app and my athlete was alive and well. Lesson learned: DO NOT trust the Ironman tracking app. I went back to the hotel and decided to go for a run and get my head together. Just a short run to break a sweat and then get back to the IM. Or so I thought. At about mile 3 I realized I was totally lost with no water, no phone and no one to ask for help. Trying to retrace my route back to the hotel, I realized I was hopelessly lost. It was heating up and I knew this could get ugly. Every house and street looked the same and realized I’m screwed. At mile 7, I happened to see a city bus about a mile away. This could be my saving grace. I ran to where the bus drove by and looked to my right and there was my hotel! Praise Jesus! Headed back to the IM venue to see my athlete begin her run. I found a bench to sit and eat dinner while waiting for my athlete to begin the run. Enjoying my brat and beer I began to relax. My athlete came out and I gave her a kiss and yelled “RUN ALTER FRAU!” (Run Old Woman!) I cracked myself up and the locals laughed also. Probably thinking stupid American. My athlete was safely on the running course, so I returned to my cold beer and brat. Several minutes later I hear some commotion and look to my left to see an athlete full on laid out on his back. I observed serval people come up to him and ask in German what I think is “are you ok?” I saw him nod. Pretty soon everyone leaves, and I see him alone. I have been to many IM’s and have done some myself. I knew an athlete on his back is not a good thing. I left my bench and went over and asked him if he was ok. He was bilingual, thank God. He indicated he was fine, but I knew he wasn’t. He had a rapid heart rate, and was cold, clammy and confused. I knew he was done for and needed medical attention. Volunteers showed up but were not equipped to help except for providing some cups of ice. 45 minutes later, the medics showed up and transported the athlete. He thanked me and I returned to my now warm beer and cold brat. I then began a plan to video my athlete coming across the finish line and the post-race nutrition options. She finished and I was able to get a decent video of her 9th full IM. At the athletes tent she came out complaining about the food. Knowing my athlete, I had an amazing dinner planned. I told her “I got you.” We made our way to the brats and beer. She loved it! After she dined on some real food, we had some time to talk. She discussed her race for several minutes and then I shared my day with her. While I described my experience that I thought she had drowned, it hit me. I could tell she was shocked by my tears, and I couldn’t explain it. I love her so much and my emotions just took over. She hugged me and it felt good. Our trip was amazing, and I love my athlete. |
AuthorPollyann Keller Archives
October 2024
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