#17: Child Abuse Awareness Month

Did you know that one in seven children are physically or sexually abused? Innocent children suffer needlessly from abuse and neglect at the hands of family members, caregivers, friends, legal guardians, those who told them they love them and are there to protect them. That means in a class of 32 students, at least four have experienced abuse. April is Child Abuse Awareness Month and in order to raise awareness for this pervasive problem, I am penning this post. 

I am one in seven. I have experienced physical and sexual abuse as a child. I have also chosen to be a child welfare advocate and be a part of the solution (instead of adding to the problem or turning a blind eye). Talking about my abuse is not easy, and yet I am compelled to share some of my story in case it can help someone process their own experiences or motivate someone else to act to help. 

My mother (who birthed me and loved me) physically and emotionally abused me. My father (who also loved me) neglected me and did not protect me from people he allowed into our home. My foster father–who came into my life to protect me from the abuse of my parents–took advantage of me and sexually abused me. I will never forget telling my siblings with hopeful tears in my eyes that “we would be going to a new home where there was love and protection waiting for us.” Only to be met with more trauma from strangers. Other extended family members also “stepped up to help” only to be as abusive as my parents. 

Beyond the abuse I sustained at home, I also encountered abuse at the hands of teachers. Although educators are supposed to guide and support children, some I encountered led a lasting negative impact. I would come to school exhausted because I was unable to sleep at night due to the violence in my home. A majority of my teachers showed no sympathy and would punish me by placing my desk in the hallway for falling asleep in class. I recall one teacher, who would become angry if I did not eat ALL of the “free lunch” provided for me. She would take a metal fork and force feed me, stabbing the roof of my mouth in the process and making me bleed. None of these adults (who signed up to support children) had empathy or asked me questions to try and understand. Instead, they attempted to punish or control me and left me feeling even more helpless. 

But there were those who DID step up for me too (thank God for them). These adults were vocal, vigilant, and supportive in the ways they knew how to be. I had a neighbor who embraced me and made me a member of their family. They provided safety, support, and love and allowed me to BE a child (and gave me an example of what a family could be). My fourth-grade teacher asked important questions. She asked me what I was experiencing at home and how she could help me; she also made the call to social services. In my teen years, I had a youth director who helped me see I was valuable, loved, and gave me hope for the future. He and his family allowed me into their home and gave me a safe place to sleep. 

I was deeply inspired to become an advocate for children because of both sets of adults described above. While it took me ten years to finish my degree in social work, I was determined to be a supportive person in the lives of children who needed it most (like I did as a child). I wanted to be a voice for those who didn’t have a voice and to lend support to parents to make positive changes. I have been doing this work for seventeen years and I am proud of the support I have extended to families. Now, I am moving forward with my coaching certification to continue helping people move forward and heal from their trauma and to empower them to be the person they desire to be. 

Our children are valuable. Abuse and maltreatment have long-term impacts on the physical, mental, and emotional development of children. Protecting children is critical. I challenge you to be the person you needed as a child. Be like my neighbor, my fourth-grade teacher, or youth director. Find whatever way you can make a difference–even if it feels small to you I promise it can have a big, lasting impact on that child. I know, because those who stepped up in my life have had a lasting impact on me. 

Until Next Monday… 

For more information or to find ways to support children experiencing abuse visit:
National Child Abuse Prevention Month - Child Welfare Information Gateway