#21: Starting Over

Like me, you’ve probably found yourself in a situation where you feel stuck, unhappy, and unfulfilled. Maybe you are in this place right now, as you read this. I have had to start over again and again throughout my life, and the process never seems to get any easier. I am giving myself grace to try and error in the pursuit of making changes I believe will bring me long-term satisfaction. When I start over, I find certain actions helpful. 

The first thing I focus on is my mindset and how I feel about taking steps to change. I listen and notice the thoughts running through my mind. Some questions might be: Am I afraid? Is the payoff worth it? What if I make things worse? Is this change REALLY necessary? I then focus on getting clarity around why I want to make this change in order to ground myself and determine what I need to do. 

I need to ask MYSELF questions like: Am I willing to do the work to break free from this existing situation? What am I fearing about this situation? Is my ego preventing me from making this shift? Perspective is everything. In order to break free, we must step back and look at the situation with fresh eyes. So instead of letting my passive mind do the talking, I control the mental dialogue and how I choose to see the situation. A small change in your perspective powerfully impacts how you experience your circumstances and improves your motivation, self-esteem, and confidence. You cannot control the world or what is happening around you, but you do have power over your mind.  

Once your mind is ready, you can begin identifying challenges that may arise. By understanding what obstacles may be in your way, you can prepare for how to overcome them. I write down each challenge and come up with at least three potential solutions. This helps quiet the mind’s internal critic and helps me see the steps to move forward. Each problem has an answer and knowing this helps us find comfort with change. I also try to identify hidden opportunities that come from change and focus my attention there. 

Finally, I create a plan to achieve the change I want to make. I set a long-term goal and work my way backwards to create smaller short-term goals. Not only does this allow me to feel successful by having many smaller points of celebration on my journey towards my larger goal, but it helps me stretch myself gradually over time and makes the accomplishment of that bigger goal possible with manageable chunks. I choose to invest my time and energy into creating this plan, but also seeing it through and making it a reality.  

So here I am, starting over again. I gave myself grace and space to determine my next steps forward. Running helps me sort through my problems, and I chose to use my Deadwood Michelson Trail Marathon this weekend in South Dakota to do exactly that. As I ran, the song "I'm Only Human" came on and I recounted all the things my body has been telling me lately: sickness, an ear infection, menopause, and inability to sleep to name a few. I realized that I am also only human, and I need to put a pin in my goal to run a 100-mile ultra-marathon (for now). Sometimes the right step forward is not the one we expected to take, but we must constantly assess where we find ourselves and while that can mean keeping the same path, sometimes it involves taking an unexpected turn. Regardless, we can enjoy the journey forward. 

 I’ll leave you with the words of Eckhart Tolle: “Sometimes letting go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.” If you find yourself craving change or improvement, I hope you too choose to begin again. 

Until Next Monday…