#23: Father's Day

My relationship with my father–growing up and into adulthood–was either complicated or non-existent (to put it in the simplest terms). In future posts I will go into greater detail, but in honor of Father’s Day, I wanted to share a particular story about my father. 
 
When my father received word that my siblings and I had been removed from our mother’s custody and placed into foster care, he was addicted to drugs and did not have a place of his own. He was told that he had an opportunity to obtain custody of us kids. My father made the choice to become sober, obtain a job, and secure housing. The decisions required commitment and hard work and were not easy to do.  Since I work in CPS, I can appreciate too,  how difficult the process was for a father in the 80’s to obtain custody of his children, which makes me appreciate his efforts all the more. 
 
By year’s end we were living with my father. I still recall believing that the day we got to leave foster care to move in with our dad was the best day of my childhood and that all our problems would be over. Unfortunately, reality was different than I had imagined it to be. My father was unable to maintain his sobriety for long. Though I have chosen to remember and find gratitude in this act this Father’s Day (and every Father’s Day). I could allow the bad memories and negative feelings consume me, but instead I choose to forgive. Mahatma Gandhi says, “The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Forgiveness is powerful and a gift we give ourselves and grace for others who are only human and flawed. 
 
Until Next Monday…