#35: My First College Experience

I did not have a compass that pointed due north when I graduated high school. In fact, I don’t think I had a compass at all. When I received my diploma, I knew I needed to leave my home filled with addiction and abuse. I didn’t know where I would stay or how I’d get my next meal. To make matters worse, I was deeply depressed. I was fearful and hopeless during this uncertain time in my life. 
 
Fortunately, my youth director was caring and supportive. He presented me with the opportunity to attend a conservative Baptist college in California (at the time I was living in Washington). Since I had nothing to my name, the youth director helped me secure a scholarship and establish a job at the college as a groundskeeper. The decision to attend school was a difficult one. I did not want to leave my siblings behind, and the strong emotions clouded my judgment and only added to my depression. I realized this was the only viable option I had and chose to pack my bags and head to school in California. The day before I departed, I contemplated whether or not my life was worth living. 
 
I am grateful that I chose to take that next step forward, despite the darkness and fear I felt inside. While my upbringing was no picnic, my alien surroundings at school were off putting. Here I was, like a fish out of water with a bunch of pastors’ kids who could not relate to me. For perspective, I had never had a washing machine or microwave, and rarely had working heat. I was reading on a second-grade level and struggled to comprehend the material covered in my classes. What’s more, the choice to leave my siblings weighed heavily on my heart. 
 
I was a student at this college for one year. What I learned more than anything from this experience is that you don’t know what someone has been through (or is going through) by looking at them. I might have looked like any of the other students, but it was almost as if I came from a different planet than my peers. We can be kind and curious about those we encounter, because we simply never know. To quote Maya Angelou, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 
 
Until Next Monday...