#36: Finding My Faith, Living in Peace

Growing up, I didn’t believe God existed. How could a kind and loving God allow a child such as me to experience so much pain and abuse? Although I did not believe it at the time, I attended my first Young Life meeting in the tenth grade with a friend. While I cannot remember the details of the meeting, my participation that night led to my life being changed forever–for the better. 
 
Many crazy, loud, and loving teenagers greeted and embraced me that Wednesday evening. I became a weekly attendee. At most meetings, I would hear everyone talk about attending camp in Malibu. Fellow club members gushed that camp would be the best week of my life and that I ought to attend. I sadly informed them that I didn’t have money and would therefore be unable to join them. However, several congregation members of a local church agreed to pay my way to camp if I assisted them with yard work. Off to camp I went. 
 
My friends were right, camp was amazing! The food was top-notch and served to us by waiters. We enjoyed ziplining, water skiing, music, and games galore. I made new friends and appreciated the most glorious scenery in creation. We joined together for a nightly Christian message. On the last night at camp, I heard a woman share her story of how God’s love healed her wounds from abuse she sustained from her mother. I felt connected to this woman’s story because I too was abused by my mother and had not heard of anyone else ever experiencing this. She also said, " No matter how damaged and broken we are, God still loves us and wants us.” 
 
That night, I said a prayer to God for the first time. I told him that I was unsure if he was real, but if he was to please forgive me of my sins and come into my heart and life. After praying this prayer, a peace washed over me like I had never experienced before. I know my heart received the gift of salvation that night. 

When I returned home to the brick house the next day, my life of severe abuse and pain continued for many years–seven to be exact. However, I trusted that with God in my heart I could sustain. I believed that no matter the damage I experienced, God was looking out for me, and I would be okay. I have witnessed many miracles in my life since praying to God that night, and I believe that they were empowered through prayer (for another post). Being on a spiritual path does not prevent darkness, pain, and suffering. However, faith teaches us how to use that darkness as a tool to grow and overcome. 
 
Psalm 40:2 He brought me up out of the horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.  
 
Until Next Monday...