#44: A Letter to Those Struggling During the Holidays

it feels to be in your shoes. I know the feeling of disappointment and sadness as you watch friends and family laughing as they wrap presents or singing Christmas carols as they bake cookies or feasting over their Thanksgiving dinner. For some reason, you can't join in mentally, emotionally or physically.  You do not feel the joy that everyone around you is feeling and experiencing,
​I wish I could tell you that eating some pie or opening a present would fill the void with the merry spirit, but we all know that's not how it works.
You see, for so many years I thought that if I tried hard enough, said enough prayers, faked a smile or served others, I would experience the joy of the holiday season.  But no matter how far I reached, I only experienced sorrow for what I did not have (and that others DID have):  family, joy, and love.  I only felt pain, loss and sorrow...
If nothing else, I offer you this: another voice whispering "you're not alone.” I want to remind you that even though everyone seems to be happily putting the ornaments on the tree, there are many out there who are not. There are many who struggle to make it out of bed each morning, struggle to put on the customary Christmas sweater, struggle to say a prayer or meditate or struggle to put on a cheerful smile that society expects of us this time of year. There is no shame in struggling, and it is okay to be where you are (and not attempting to fake it). 
There is no shame in feeling sadness during the holiday season. And while it might seem long, the season is really just a few weeks out of the year. You can make it through this season, and soon enough a new year will come.
 
I BELIEVE IN YOU. I believe even if you don't feel the excitement to open presents or sit down to a Thanksgiving feast, you can make it. The pain may be there, and it may seem unbearable at times, but YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Those of you who struggle during this time are strong, and you have the ability to make it past the lights and carols. And when you think you can't, when you believe the holidays will never end, close your eyes and feel the support of those who understand, of those who struggle too (and maybe reach out to share how you feel with a trusted loved one, coach). You are not alone; we are here for you.
 
“The Joy of brightening other lives, bearing each other’s burdens, easing each other’s loads, and supplanting the empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of holidays.” -W.C. Jones
Until next Monday.
Love, 
Someone who understands