#5: Persistent Pursuit

As a child, I remember waiting in line to receive our milk, eggs, and cheese. I distinctly recall the unkind woman who looked at us with disdain as she gave us our government-funded food. I was ashamed and embarrassed. Yet I knew it was not my fault that my mother was mentally ill, and my family needed help. At the time, I didn’t know what social work was, but I wanted to be that lady. I did not want to be unkind like her, but I wanted to serve people in need. Though I was determined to do it with empathy and kindness. 

Soon after graduating high school, I left for California pursuing a fresh start.  I had a strong will not to become like my parents; I abstained from drugs and alcohol and joined a gym (at the time I was obese). Advised by a youth director, I began attending a non-accredited Christian college. 

Life became complicated, and I left the program after a single year. I struggled in many ways and found myself staying in different places (and some nights without a home at all). Once I got my head above water, I attempted a fresh start at a community college in Washington. After many twists and turns, I found myself again leaving a program after one year. 

In California I enrolled in a second community college, still determined to get my degree. At the time, I was married to my abusive ex-husband. The domestic abuse ended in a court martial. Considering all that was occurring in my personal life, my focus was understandably not on my studies. Yet again I found myself abandoning a program in light of complicated personal events. 

Several years passed, I married my loving husband, and dusted off my dream of obtaining a degree in social work. While my personal life was full (working evenings and raising three children while my husband was in the military) it was stable–not simple, but stable. Not free of twists and turns, I was able to also focus on my studies. 

One impactful twist was learning via testing that I was operating off of a second-grade reading level. I worked with a tutor daily and invested so much time and energy into seeing this goal through. Like David Goggins, I needed repetition to learn. I created flashcards that I studied religiously, even taking them with me on walks. I would write information over and over (and over). But I was determined to do whatever it took. 

After obtaining my associates degree from a community college, I went on to earn my bachelor's degree. While I began my pursuit at seventeen, I finally achieved my goal at thirty-two in 2004. I may have actualized my dream of getting my diploma, but the trauma and anxiety I experienced during that time still haunts me (I have nightmares still about going back to school). 

Persistence. That is how I achieved my goal. Sure, the path was rocky, winding, and longer than I would have hoped. But I longed to be that kind face that never greeted me as a child in the system. While getting my degree was a struggle, I didn’t fail. I tried again and again (and again). I am able to give back to others who find themselves in troubling situations, similar to my younger self. What’s more is I do it with a smiling face and compassion. 

Speed bumps, roadblocks, and detours are inevitable. The path of life is unpredictable. But our willingness to keep going and to find a different way forward make all the difference. You are the driver; you get to decide if you will abandon your car or proceed any way you can. The choice is yours. 

Until next Monday…